If Your Mate Is Not Responsible For Your Happiness - Who Is?
Why is it hard to end a relationship when you know it’s not making you happy, but you stay because you don’t want to be single and start all over?
The first thing you must understand is that you do not go into a relationship in order to find happiness. Happiness should be an internal thing that you control and not someone else. You must find a central focus of happiness that is not based upon a person, a job, a child, or so on. Feelings of happiness are fleeting when based upon the life of someone else in the natural. If that is your point of reference, you will spend the rest of your life searching for a mythical form of happiness. You must find happiness with something that is lasting and cannot be taken away - something that will always remain a constant. Honestly, for me, the only instance of such a phenomenon is a connection with God. He promises a peace that the world doesn’t give to you and a peace the world can’t take away from you! He promises that He will never leave you neither will he forsake you! His love for you is not conditional. You are told that you are the apple of His eye.
If God is not your reference point, then you must identify your reference point that is all about you and not about someone else.
Like love, happiness, is a choice. Choose today what you will allow to be the focal point of your happiness and then don’t allow anyone, or anything rob you of your joy. Secondly, being single is not a thing to be ashamed of or a thing to be afraid of. It is during those times of singleness that you take the time to get a right prospective on your life, a reuniting with you – the beauty of you and yes even the quirkiness of you. If you can’t enjoy your own company, why would anyone want to spend time with you?
As for being afraid of starting over – time is precious. None of us are getting any younger. None of us have years to waste. When you learn to love yourself, your company and clearly understand your value, your worth, then you will make choices that complement the greatness in you, and you will feel fulfilled within the confines of your internal assurance that when the right man meets you – boy or boy what a treat he is in for!
Love Always
Angela
